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nothing left. [May. 13th, 2009|12:20 am]
i just hurt the one person who cares about me. i'm a cold hearted person, and whether or not he should be this hurt, he is. i didn't know i had the capacity to do this to someone. i always have tried to make people happy; and now that i hurt someone, it turns out to be my soul mate. he's the only one that truly cares about me. he listens to me, he questions me, he loves my for me. i can tell him anything, don't have to hide who i am for once, and am so at ease with him it's amazing. i can't say that for ANYONE else. my best friends at whitman don't ever inquire about my feelings. really, now, guys? you don't have a clue about who I am, what goes on in my head, and what I am struggling with. do they ask about my relationship-- my first true love? no. sophie would do all of this, but we're both busy with college and can't talk as much as we need. my mom is great when it comes to helping my emotions, but I have such a secret life from her. so that leaves ryan. he's fucking amazing. I can't believe I found him over a greasy food counter that we just speant just 1 month at together. it has only been 4 months and I'm so in love with him. he is my soul mate. he makes me happy just by being mine. i don't want to hurt him and i don't want to waste one minute of our love by being upset. and now I go and tell him about the worst thing i could have done to him. i'm a fucking bitch and i ruined this love with my soul mate. i just want to go to the bahamas and live on the beach with him. please forgive me

[User Picture]From: ripcurlpunx39
2009-07-04 07:02 pm (UTC)
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